Recently, a horror point-and-click game called Five Nights At Freddy's has been extremely popular.
Keeping up with our usual trend of milking fads, here at ICM, we've provided a comprehensive game-guide on how to beat the game!
With Apple, Microsoft, and Linux (for the two people on Earth who use that), there are software updates.
They take half an hour to install, and all they do is make your screen 0.00000002% brighter, or erase all your contacts, or something like that.
And then they write a new "Terms & Conditions" for each new update, which no living soul has ever bothered to read.
I feel really sorry for the poor slob who has to write a new "Terms & Conditions" for the every five minutes an update comes out. I really do. Those things are lengthy. They must take at least two hours to write/proofread. And nobody has ever read them.
Though they probably should.
If I wrote one of those, I would be really tempted to just sneak things in like, "by clicking 'Agree', you hereby give us your firstborn" and stuff like that.
But that's beside my point.
My point is that these take forever to load, are released every other day, and are just overall tedious. I still haven't updated my iPad to iOS 8.1 billion jigowatts or whatever we're on now.
This is honestly why I'm considering switching to this computer:
Here's something I haven't done for a while...
So, basically, reporter Brian Williams recently admitted that he made up a truckload of his stories, and now, nobody likes him. But why let Brian boy have all the fun? Let's make up our own Brian Williams News Stories....
DIY: Brian Williams Stories
Hi, this is Brian Williams. I'm here today in (1), and I have shocking news. I recently spoke with (2), and they told me that (3).
Now, being the brave man I am, I am going to have to fly into the disaster zone myself and save the day. Also, I (4). This is all true. I swear.
-A completely, verified, not made-up source
(3)-The world is ending
-Everything's better with Perry
-I am definitely here. I swear
-There's a dog in the vent
(4)-Lowered taxes single handedly
-Am guaranteed free entry for the rapture
-Am Lorde. Ya ya ya
-Removed all Kardashians from the gene pool. You're welcome
Occasionally, people get separated at birth.
This can happen to anyone, even celebrities. Here at ICM's (nonexistent) research department, we've pinpointed who these celebrities unknown brother/sisters are...