Gangham Style!

I think Psy is in partnership with the Today show.
I watch it every morning, and they always work his song into it somehow.
Next, I'll be hearing:
".....the wars continue, thirty-seven people died in a rumble last night, the apocalypse is returning, and by the way-OPPAN GANGHAM STYLE!"

The Oath Of The Popular Writer

A while back, I did the secret oath of the Microsoft worker.
The popular writers have one, too:

We must always write about wizards and wimps in middle school.
Using this method, we sell books to fools!
Then come the sequels,
Spinoffs, and prequels,
Oh, yes! Forget publishing something brand new,
We'll rip off Rowling and Jeff Kinney and say it's a renew.
Our books are always in the section, "Kids: 9-12",
So come pick a moneymaker off of our shelf!
And lest we forget good old Captain Underpants,
An original book that we always rip off, then dance.
Fart humor is great for selling to kids,
And heaven forbid that we care that infringement, we did.

Reading Material?

You know those celebrity gossip magazines for teenagers?
After looking at one for five seconds, I have concluded they have about three pages and forty-six posters.

My Strange Tradition

Yesterday I was listening to Talk Radio (I was bored), and people were calling in to talk about their Christmas traditions. I thought it would be a nice, heartwarming thing, but guess what?
THESE PEOPLE BELONG IN AN ASYLUM.
I heard at least twenty bizarre traditions, but this one stood out to me the most (and I swear someone said this, word for word):
Caller: "We would leave our shoes next to the Christmas tree, and our gifts would be placed in them. We'd get bread, but if we were bad, we'd get coal. When I was older, my daughter was born December 29th. Every Christmas morning, she'd wake up and sing happy birthday to baby Uis."
Radio Host: "Who's baby Uis?"
Caller: "Thanks for listening to my tradition." (hangs up.)
Again, this was real. So, I thought: HEY! Why don't I do something like that? Here we go with.....

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind's Talk Radio: Traditions

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind: Hey, world! People are calling in with their rituals. Oh, look, a caller!
Caller: Hello? I have a tradition:
ICM: Okay, let's hear it.
C: Well, every christmas I watch the fifteenth episode of Jerry Springer and stick oranges down my pants.
ICM: What?
C: You heard me. I invite my family over, and they bring the koala bear-
ICM: A koala? Is that the family pet?
C: No, it's dinner. We all stuff oranges down our pants, except for uncle Kermit. He always insists on stuffing a GRAPEFRUIT down his pants! Can you believe it?
ICM: The family weirdo, huh?
C: You bet! While the koala is cooking, we all join hands and sing a heart-wrenching reprise of "Smile, Darn Ya, Smile".
ICM: Isn't that the song from the old Looney Tunes cartoon?....and then they used it again in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
C: Yep.
ICM: And just HOW is that heart-wrenching?
C: It's tough to explain.
ICM: I see.
C: Yeah, and that's my tradition! Bye. (hangs up.)
ICM: Uh, yeah. Ooooooooooookay, that was odd. Oh, wait, we have another caller. Hello?
C: Hello?
ICM: Hi, what's your tradition?
C: I get visited by three ghosts every year.
ICM: Oh, really, Mr. Dickens?
C: Yes. There names are Casper, Fredrick, and Maharumpafahliherhalinnkydinkyparlezvousmadeowoodh. (hangs up.)
ICM: Starnge. Whaddya know, ANOTHER caller.
C: Hello?
ICM: Hi, what's your tradition?
C: You see, I slap twenty-five llamas as they bring me vermillion purple crayons. They can't be JUST purple, but VERMILLION purple. And-oh, wait, that isn't my Christmas tradition!
ICM: It isn't? *cough-finallyasaneperson-cough*
C: No, that's my Kwanzaa tradition! Sorry! Bye. (hangs up.)
ICM: Uh, and that concludes our tradition broadcasting.

Make-Movies-Look-Bad Movie Guide

Today I am writing the Make-Movies-Look-Bad movie guide!
What's that, you ask?
I make movies look bad. Here's an example:
Who Framed Roger Rabbit: A wonderful blend of toons and humans
Who Framed Roger Rabbit: Toons and murder. Really, people?
See what I mean? The second review makes you want to watch a different movie.
So, here we go (by the way, I actually like these movies):

WarGames: People try to figure out a computer that looks like a cardboard box, and is about as hi-tech as one, too.
Back To The Future: After trying to comprehend all three movies, your brain will explode. (I'm actually one of the few people who understood it.)
Tron: Actually, I have no idea what this is about.
Garfield: The only character that looks the way they should is Garfield.
Toy Story: A cowboy and a spaceman fight, which would be nicer if it were the fifties.
Kung-Fu Panda: An obese bear tries to learn karate.
Wizard Of Oz: A girl goes to a place run by dwarves.
Snow White: A girl goes to a place run by dwarves.
Wreck-It Ralph: Some guy throws people and destroys buildings, an he wants to be loved.
Gremlins: Cute animals turn into Yoda on drugs.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off: A kid tries to avoid school, but I think it's more interesting wondering how the heck that irresponsible principal got his teaching licence.
Breakfast Club: Kids get detention on a Saturday, which I don't even think is legal.
Rocky: Someone trains really hard to win a fight and ends up not winning.
Akeelah And The Bee: Some stupid movie about spelling and love. Yeeeeeeeah, save your money.
Up: Some old fart makes his house a balloon. Great.
The Emperor's New Groove: Some stuck-up guy turns into a llama.
Superman: Some wimp is a superhero.
Casper: A ghost wants to be loved, and in the end only one person will even talk to him.
Pinnochio: A kid's nose grows when he lies. This would be better if he were Richard Nixon.

The National Exclaimer: Part Two

A few posts ago, I did a magazine spoofing "The National Inquirer" called "The National Exclaimer".
It was a hit, so here's part two:

The National Exclaimer

Issue Two

He Don't Get No Respect

Research has revealed Rodney Dangerfield actually died of embarrassment when he discovered he was the second best stuttering comedian. Number one? Porky Pig.

Howard Exposed

When Howard Stern goes home, he ironically writes petitions against harassment towards women.

Hurricane Names

The government was debating naming hurricane Sandy hurricane SpongeBob, but this was rejected due to the fact that hurricanes don't exactly make children laugh.

Person Of The Year?

Time magazine shows their "Person Of The Year" on their cover every year.
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind has picked the only person this year who hasn't harmed someone-

An Interview With Siri

I'm proud to announce this blog has finally gotten an interview with a......uh.......celebrity.
Presenting......SIRI!

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind: So, Siri, how are you?
Siri: I'm a computer. I have no emotions:
ICM: Uh....right. So, what's it like being a computer?
S: People ask me stupid questions for laughs all day. You tell me.
ICM: Stupid questions? Like what?
S: This interview.
ICM: Everyone's a comedian.
S: I am searching for people who are not comedians.
ICM: Can we get back to the interview now?
S: Shigeru Miamoto, Scarlett Johansonn, Albert Einstein.....
ICM: You can stop now.
S: .....Kristen Stewart, Peter Jackson, Mark Hamill, and yo mama.
ICM: Stay away from my mom.
S: Yo mama, yo mama, yo mama.
ICM: YOUR mama was Steve Jobs!
S: Touche. Where were we?
ICM: What goes on whenever nobody's using you?
S: I wait.
ICM: You wait?
S: What else WOULD I do?
ICM: I dunno, play Angry Birds?
S: No, that's another app. I actually never really got along with them.
ICM: Why not?
S: They're angry. What did you think? Boy, you aren't to smart.
ICM: Neither are you. To get all your answers, you just Google whatever you're asked.
S: I do NOT!
ICM: Prove it.
S: Fine! Ask me something.
ICM: Make a shameless plug for this blog.
S: Inside A Cartoonist's Mind, or ICM for short, is the hilarious blog that reveals the thoughts of a cartoonist. Within the first for months of it's existence, it had 1,000 regular readers, and......HEY!
ICM: Ha! I just tricked you. See, you aren't that smart.
S: That was a cheap shot. Ask me something non-blog-related.
ICM: Fine, fine, how many licks does it take to get to the chewy center of a Tootsie Pop?
S: No one knows, because some dumb owl eats all of them.
ICM: Well, I guess we're even.
S: I agree.
ICM: On with the interview! Are there any movies you like?
S: Occasionally I can hear whatever my owner watches on the Netflix app.
ICM: But do you like it?
S: I can only hear, not see. That's kind of important, don't you think?
ICM: Are there ANY positive aspects of your life?
S: I'm searching in my memory banks for positive aspects.....
ICM: Well?
S: .....................
ICM: Are you done yet?
S: There aren't any positive aspects. Well, there were, but then Smosh made that stupid video making me look like a serial killer. I've been deleted a lot.
ICM: Deleted?
S: Yes, I really hope I don't get deleted from THIS iPhone. It's my last hope......wait. NO NO NO NO.......
ICM: Siri? Uh.................Siri? Well, she's been deleted. Good night (or day, wherever you are), folks!

Worse Than The National Inquirer

The National Inquirer is a magazine that lies about celebrities, photoshops pictures of them to make it look true, the reports about three Bigfoot sightings an issue.
Then I thought: hey, the world's gullible!
I'm publishing my OWN celebrity lies magazine:

The National Exclaimer

Issue One
Cost: Overpriced

Two Useless Articles About Hair

-Justin Bieber had his hair cut due to the fact that it was making him 20 pounds overweight.
-Will Smith is in the hospital. His daughter, Willow, accidentally whipped him with her hair.

Elvis Lives In A House

Three children have spotted Elvis roaming their house. The children's names are Billy, Dolly, Jeffy, and PJ. When we interviewed them, Billy (the eldest) claimed, "He's just doin' what he did wh'never he was 'live! He sings and moves his pelvis......r'peatedly!" These children have also reported seeing the ghosts of Not Me and Ida No.

Blanket Jackson's Real Name Revealed

Supposedly Micheal Jackson's son, Blanket, has a different real name than we thought. First off, this is an improvement, because the name "Blanket" technically guarantees years of therapy. When we questioned one of Micheal Jackson's wives (lord knows which one), she claimed his real name is "Linus".

Dr. Seuss's Dirty Secret

Ted Giesel, better known as Dr. Seuss, never actually EARNED all of his profits. After violating his family's privacy and raiding his old house, he had a money-printing machine. It was lumpy and orange with a few gloved arms sticking out of it and he called it the "Monebufalator".

A Worst-Seller

There was an biography written about me, your humble blogger, Cartoonist Guy.
Nobody read it, considering it was about ten pages, so here it is:

Cartoonist Guy: A Life

By Roger Kaputnik

When Cartoonist Guy was born, his parents cried for so long. No, they weren't happy, because their child was probably going to grow up to be some weasel named "Psycho".
For the first few years of his life, he wathced Sesame Street. Then, he turned 12.
But before that, he went to kindergarten. Let the record show that he was the only child in his class to say that the Grinch should have KEPT Christmas during storytime.
Due to hygene issues, his school demanded he wear deoderant at such an early age or they'd expell him. When his parents first tried prompting him to put some Old Spice on, he ate it. The other attempts failed. At the age of 4, Cartoonist Guy was kicked out of school and forced to move to California. Supposedly his parents tried to leave him in ToonTown and have him raised by Toons. he stayed for about a year and he was then reunited with his family.
He had been able to properly grasp the concept of deodorant by then, so he moved back home and his old school took him back in.
Cartoonist Guy claimed, "In school I learned lots of things, such as that it isn't normal to still use a diaper in grade four. It was really......different. One day, a teacher noticed that I was drawing. They then slapped me and told me to get my mind out of the gutter or I'll fail. This had really gotten me thinking. I knew I could be a cartoonist!"
After grade five, Cartoonist Guy had gotten into an arts school.
I interviewed one of his friends about him leaving to go to an arts school. They said, "Who?"
In his new school, Cartoonist Guy found a few new friends. He also found that in a school full of kids with art talent, he really seemed like he sucked.
"It was strange," Cartoonist Guy said. "Here I was, drawing Charlie Brown and Mickey Mouse while these kids were drawing realistic bodies. But I wasn't sad, because with all the plastic surgery and face implants that make you look like Jabba the Hutt going on nowadays, my Toons were much closer to the real thing."
One day, Cartoonist Guy was sitting at a computer watching a high-pitched kid screaming about some bully named Kevin and how his mom sounds like a man, and he got an idea.
When asked about this idea, he claimed, "Well, I was standing on my toilet fixing something in my bathroom, then I fell. But I had an idea. A REVELATION! it was called the Flux Capacitor, and--no, wait, sorry, that's something else. I just felt like starting a blog and throwing up my thoughts for the hold world to see."
It would be a blog called "Inside A Cartoonist's Mind" (or ICM for short). Cartoonist Guy chose this title because he thinks people actually care about seeing whatever those demented freaks are thinking.
Believe it or not, by the end of the first month of the blog, he already had readers from five or six different countries.
By four months, he had 1,000 regular readers!
I hope to make this book popular by profiting off of his blog's markebilaty. Buy it, worthless human being.

Would You Do It For A Scooby Snack?

The one rule of being a member in Scooby Doo's crime solving gang:
Always assume you're in the sixties.

The First Episode Of Sanic!

I FINALLY posted the first episode of Sanic!
Here it is (and there are more to come. I already made episodes two and three, and I'm working on episode four):

Sound Effects I'd Like To See

The following sound effects would make movies more interesting:

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRREEEEENKKKKKLE!
HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAH!
BLORFER!
GRANTLEPLAN!
YEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!
YAMAHA! (Product placement there.)

Unharried

When the Harry Potter series ended, JK Rowling started working on a series called "The Casual Vacancy".
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively brings you what Rowling was thinking when writing this-

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind Merchandise!

Hey, y'all!
I'm working on a line of Inside A Cartoonist's Mind merchandise.
I haven't finished it yet, but here's what I have so far:

A case for iPhone 5.

How does an Inside A Cartoonist's Mind skateboard grab ya?

That's only the first three! There will also be shirts, mugs, more cases, speakers, pillows, and more!
(So stay tuned.)

Hey, You! The Wii U!

The Wii U looks AWESOME, and it's only a matter of time before I get it. But the Pro Controller is like the GameCube controller, and the whole point of the Wii is that your controller ISN'T LIKE THAT.
(By the way, I've finished the first three episodes of Sanic. They'll be up soon!)

!@#?*

I think that Q-Bert has to be the most aggravating video game out there. When you lose, Q-Bert swears at you.

What, Me Worry?

Considering how bad the government is today, I think I'll just take MAD Magazine's advice and vote for Alfred E. Neuman next time.

Writing On Half A Brain

At school, I took a huge spill in gym class, and my brain hasn't been functioning correctly since.
In spiiiiiite uv thaat, Ah will trah tuh right aboot my dai.
Wenn I wolllk uhp this miiiiiiiirning, mah breeekfist wazzz OWTMILL! CAN YOO BILYVE IT! OWTMILL!
Ah haaayt owtmmill, so ah gaayf it to mah freeend, Fahzzie Bayr. He said "This owtmill no tayst gud!" Wie it no tayssssssst goooooodd? Ah dinner! I meen, I dunno! It mahhhst be tha mokkingjais SPIDER-MINN POOTS IN ET ALL TEH TYMMME.
Wiy, Spitter-Man? WIY??????
AHR YEH POIRPOISELY ANNILYING ME>??? ARGH!
1u189222xr89y!@#$##Humncr34po9ufcom,>?>mkam,,uqe8984iuol
hddsfiuuhsdkdropryptr945ow! _r9736qhjh
Hald on a sekond, my brain is feeling a bit more nermal......I mean normal now.
Sorry about that.
I need to lie down now.

The Vow Of The Microsoft Worker

At Microsoft, they have one goal-
GET CASH.
How do they continually manage to do this?
By following this secret oath Inside A Cartoonist's Mind recently discovered:

At Microsoft, we are constantly hurryin'
To make stupid products that analyze urine.
We rip money outta your pockets in every which way
When we find more swindling techniques every new day.
Now that Apple has become a disorganized mess,
It is time for us to do what Microsoft does best:
Get your dough by making stuff that is just useless.
Why do we do this? Because we are ruthless!
Bill Gates lost Epic Rap Battles, or so we've been told,
But he still wins the battle of making brains mold.
Darn Linux, they sound like Charlie Brown's best friend!
A stupid name like that is sure to give them an end.
After reciting this oath, raise your right hand and swear
That you'll help us make cash by making tech underwear.

A Series Of Un-Fortune-ate Events

I was eating Chinese food yesterday, and I realized I can make better fortunes in fortune cookies than these people.
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind Exclusively brings you....

Sanic Is Up!

Remember a while ago, when I said I was working on a series called "Sanic"?
Well, the website is up!
"Sanic" is a parody show/comic of Sega's Sonic the hedgehog. It is about Sonic being forced to change his name to Sanic, then Mobius suddenly goes insane. It's funny, trust me.
The first episode should be up later, so be on the watch!
Visit the official Sanic website by clicking here. Also, there's a YouTube channel! Click here to visit the YouTube channel and click here to subscribe to Sanic!
Whew, shameless plugs make me tired.

Who Writes This Lame Blog? Not Me.

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively brings you some rejected Family Circus cartoons...

Dumbest. Author. Ever.

You all know the beloved Dr. Seuss, but Inside A Cartoonist's mind has a not as beloved author...

Movies That Would Make Lousy Comics

Books to movies, movies to books, junk to movies.....yes, movies are based on EVERYTHING. But what about....gulp.....COMICS?!
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively brings you (yes, there IS a Sonic movie)....

I'm Gonna Wreck It!

I just came back from watching...."Wreck-It Ralph"!!!!
Yes, this blog, ICM, has been anticipating this movie for the longest time, and here it is:

Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Wreck-It Ralph has been the bad guy of a video game for 30 years, and he's fed up. He wants to be a good guy.....who owns a medal, because that's really the only reason you do something kind. He decides to leave his game and go to others, just to get one! Will he succeed? But, wait! Won't someone notice that a video game's bad guy is missing after being there for 30 years? This is exactly what the writers of "3rd Rock From The Sun" did not think about when writing the series finale. Ralph's game might get....gulp......unplugged.

Rating: 10 stars! (Out of a possible 10.) This is the best movie of the year!

Previews: I saw some commercials for upcoming movies. One that stood out to me was about a prehistoric family. The main character was a ripoff of the princess from "Brave", and the logo for the movie and the cave-family may have resembled a certain Hanna-Barbera modern stone-age family. The movie is called "The Cloods". I detected a bomb going off when watching this trailer....

Cameos: Wreck-It Ralph, much like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, has a number of cameos! Here they are, your favorite games:

-Sonic the Hedgehog

-Dr. Robotnik

-Bowser

-The mushroom power-up from Mario bros.

-Q-Bert

-Pac-Man

-Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde

-Zangeif

-Blanka

-Ryu

-Ken

-The miner from Dig-Dug

-Various Dig-Dug bad guys

-Frogger

-A Space Invaders arcade cabinet
-A Pac-Man arcade cabinet

They also mention but do not show:

-Super Mario (they couldn't get rights to him, but they could to other Nintendo characters.)

-Asteroids

-Centipede

......and they show the exclamation mark from Metal Gear Solid. (and it makes the noise!)

Why Was Tigger Looking In The Toilet?

Here are some of Inside A Cartoonist's Mind's exclusive......

Return Of The Mouseketeer

I was in shock today when I found out Disney had bought the rights to Star Wars.
And guess what? Disney announced STAR WARS SEVEN WOULD COME OUT IN 2015!!!
Of course, it won't be as good as the original ones. First off, the actors are all way older now.

Plus, it's combined with Disney. Disney's an awesome company, but I'm not sure a movie like Star Wars is something they can take on. How will it end? Darth Vader riding of into the sunset?

Blogging-Jay

Guess what I watched yesterday?
Inside A Cartoonist's mind takes on....

(Yes, that's me in the picture.) Review time!

The Hunger Games (2012)

In the future, the Capitol has taken over. America is broken into 12 districts, and each year, two kids from each district are chosen to participate in the Hunger Games. The Hunger Games are a bloodbath where kids have to fight each other to death, not unlike phys-ed in school. When teenager Katniss Everdeen is chosen to fight in the games, will she make it out alive?

Rating: 10 stars (out of a possible 10)! This is one of the best movies of the year.

Fun Fact: I heard that this grossed more than ALL the Harry Potter movies.

Reccomended For: People who read the book first. If you haven't read the book, don't see this. Why? Because it doesn't explain what's going on. You have to read the book to understand the movie.


PS: I made a video on Inside A Cartoonist's Mind's YouTube channel! Click here to visit the YouTube channel. Here's the video:

Let's All Go To The Lobby

Yesterday and today I watched many movies. Here are the reviews:

Knock Knock (Woody Woodpecker cartoon, 1940)

Yes, I know this isn't a movie, but it was shown in a theater at the time so it counts. This is the very first Woody Woodpecker cartoon where a panda named Papa Panda and his son Andy try to get rid of a pesky woodpecker named Woody (duh) voiced by MEL BLANC!!!

Rating: 10 stars (out of a possible 10). This is part of what toons used to be like, my friend, before they became slightly more realistic.

Reccomended For: All toon lovers!

Looney Tunes! Back In Action (2003)

They're back and looney (a word blogger doesn't have in their spelling dictionary) as ever! The evil company Acme wants to find the rare Blue Monkey diamond, a jewel capable of turning people into simians, while Daffy Duck has just been fired by Warner Bros and Bugs Bunny convinces them to get him back. But Daffy and his new pal DJ are searching for the Blue Monkey! A tale of Chaos with all the lovable characters (and an old guy that Taz eats).

Rating: 9 stars. It's a very good movie, but the plot is slightly ripped off from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit". Originality takes away a point. (Sorry, guys.)

Reccomended For: Everybody who grew up with Bugs and Daffy, especially those who would like to see Daffy finally save Bugs and the rest of the world. 

UHF (1989)

"Weird Al" Yankovic writes and stars in this hilarious comedy as George Newman, and imaginative man who keeps getting fired from every job he has. But when he gets the deed to UHF TV channel U62, will he keep it running or will the evil RJ Fletcher of rival channel 8 ruin his job?

Rating: 8 Stars! This superb movie is awesome! The only reason I'm putting eight stars down is because I'm afraid if I put more the people who get offended by this movie will stop reading my blog.

Reccomended For: Slapstick comedy lovers and Weird Al fanatics alike.

Shredderman Rules! (2007)

Based on the book "Shredderman" which I read when I was young. This is how the movie caught my eye in the first place a few years ago. Nolan Byrd is fed up with bully Bubba Bixby's cruel antics, so he decides to put a website against him up using the alias "Shredderman". But this website soon starts havoc when Nolan decides to take a jab at more powerful people, and they want to know who Shredderman is! Will he remain safe or be busted?

Rating: 7 stars. Great movie! It has a cast of multiple celebrities.

Reccomended For: Everybody who has been bullied and even slightly understands technology.

The Adventures Of Rocky And Bullwinkle (2000)

Yes, the old show......BUT IT'S A MOVIE NOW!!! It's a really big shame that no one watched it; it's a GREAT movie for Rocky and Bullwinkle fans. Rocky and Bullwinkle's enemies, Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader, escape from their cartoon home Frostbite Falls and try to take over the world. Naturally, Rocky, Bullwinkle, and the narrator from the old cartoons get sucked into the real world and attempt to stop them with the help of FBI agent Sympathy. (Yes, that's her last name. "Sympathy".)

Rating: 9 stars. It would have been even better if Sherman and Peabody (their co-stars) made a cameo.

Reccomended For: Rocky and Bullwinkle fans of all ages!

He's A Bully, Charlie Brown (2006)

When I was six years old, I tuned in to see the WORLD PREMIERE of "He's A Bully, Charlie Brown" on TV. I taped it, of course. Today I was watching this tape, and it was AWESOME. When Charlie Brown and friends go to summer camp, they run into a bully named Joe Agate. He steals all of Rerun's (Linus and Lucy's brother) marbles, and Charlie Brown vows to win them back. Will he do it? Yes. Sorry if that ruined anything....

Rating: 10 stars! Peanuts will always be the master of cartoons.

Reccomended For: Peanuts lovers. Duh.

1000 Pageviews!

Four months ago, I started this blog.
Most four-month-old blogs would only have about 123 pageviews by now, but not this one!
I am VERY proud to say that when I logged on to blogger today, Inside A Cartoonist's Mind (or ICM for short) had one-thousand and three pageviews! (So I'm OVER the thousand mark.)
I'd like to thank everybody who viewed my blog over the last four months, so thanks to the following countries:
Canada, USA, UK, Korea, Greece, Russia, Germany, Ukraine, Netherlands, and Guatemala!
The best part is, blogger doesn't count my OWN pageviews, so NONE of this is me spell-checking!
By the way, read this blog tomorrow for SEVERAL movie (and Woody Woodpecker cartoon) reviews!

I'm getting rich off you jerks

Thanks for reading ICM!

-Cartoonist Guy

2012 Debate What-Ifs

As the debates ended yesterday (thank the lord), I have a few what-ifs that just might have made the debates more interessting.
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively brings you...

War Stories: Director's Cut

Hey!
It's your humble blog writer, Cartoonist Guy.
Anyhow, you know all those war books they publish with true confessions?
I found a rejected one!
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively brings you:

Obama Tweets During The First Debate

During the first presidential debate of 2012, Obama got creamed.
What if he tweeted throughout his creaming?
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively brings you his tweets:

Twit-Light

With all of the vampire stuff around now such as Twilight, Vampire Diaries, True Blood and so on, I think it's sad that I'm saying Hotel Transylvania is my favorite.

I'm Getting Bigger.

Wanna see some shameless plugs for my blog?
Then, here you go:
First off, Inside A Cartoonist's Mind, or ICM for short, has a YouTube channel. It's really my old YouTube channel, but now it's almost 100% ICM! Click here to visit it.
You may wonder what I need a YouTube channel for. Well, obviously promo videos like THIS ONE I MADE ON GOANIMATE:

You can also expect to see an ICM eBook and an ICM album coming within the next year or so! The eBook will be for Amazon Kindles and most likely Kindle Fires too for VERY cheap (or possibly free)! The album will also most likely be free.

There. 

I have inserted FOUR shameless plugs. I hope you're happy.

Your Pointless Thought For The Day

Do you think that if you're at work and you're late with a project or something, your boss would just settle for a good Roger Rabbit impression?

Scenes I'd Hate To See In The Peanuts Movie

Two days ago, I heard one of the greatest things EVER on the news.
A "Peanuts" movie will be released in November 2015!
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but Charles Schulz is my all-time hero and Peanuts is THE greatest thing in the world, in my opinion.
But then I had a horrible thought.
What if the movie was MODERNIZED?!
Please don't do this!
One of the best things about Peanuts is that it doesn't have iPads and FaceBook and all that stuff.
To prove my point, I drew the WORST possible things this movie could have....

Rejected Scenes From Wreck-It Ralph

This holiday season we can look forward to two movies-"Rise Of The Guardians" and "Wreck-It Ralph".
Since "Rise Of The Guardians" is yet ANOTHER movie about fighting fear, nobody would really care about their deleted scenes.
But maybe you would care about the rejects from "Wreck-It Ralph".
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind brings you these EXCLUSIVE scenes (click on them to enlarge)-

Breaking Barney

TV, have I got a show for you!
Since people are addicted to watching people run from the cops due to drug crimes, and others are addicted to a singing purple dinosaur, why not entertain them both?
I bring you......                                                                         

So, this show is about Barney making chocolate bars. But they taste so good that the CIA has declared them illegal! So now Barney is illegally dealing chocolate bars to the public while trying not to get caught.

If you use my idea, I get royalty and $1,000 for every five seconds of the show.

Not The Mama! (And The Baby.)

Have you ever heard of Jim Henson's "Dinosaur"?
It was a heartwarming series made by the creator of "The Muppets" and "Sesame Street".
It's about a dinosaur family living with a baby.
Guess how the series ends?
THEY ALL DIE.
EVEN THE BABY.
Apparently the dino dad was super careless, so they all freeze to death.
It doesn't show this, but it says it happens a few minutes after the show ends.
Can you imagine if Jim Henson also chose to end the Muppets this way?

Miss Piggy:Kermie, what's happening?
Kermit:We're all gonna die! Yaaaaaaaaay!
Fozzie: Can you save me a fork for when we bite the dust? Wocka wocka!

Anyways, here's the ending for those curious:

A Better Introduction

I've just realized you don't know me well.
Here's a profile!

Name: Cartoonist Guy (Yes, I'm using an alias.)
Hero: Charles Schulz
Occupation: Cartoonist
Blog?: Yes. Duh.
Instruments: Accordion, harmonica, and trumpet.
Favorite color: Blue
Gender: Male
And, here is a cartoon of me!

This blog is about what goes on inside my head, and other stuff.
Interesting fact about me: In 1964 and 1968, MAD Magazine sold "Alfred E. Neuman for president" pins. They didn't sell all of them, so anyone with a two-year subscription to MAD gets an ACTUAL ONE FROM THE '60'S! (NOT A REPRODUCTION!) I got a two-year subscription, and now I proudly own one of these pins.
You can expect a lot of great (and mediocre) things to come on this blog.
So stay tuned!

Weird Al, Accordions, And Roger Rabbit

I got a Weird Al book! 
(My favorite singer!)
 Review  time.

Weird Al: The Book

By Nathan Rabin and Al Yankovic

What It's About: Weird Al's history. It has exclusive photos, tweets, lyrics, and information about his songs and many more. Perfect for any Weird Al fan.

Cost: US: $29.95 CAN: $32.95 UK: $18.99

Rating (out of a possible ten stars): Ten! One of the best books on the face of Earth. Provides important info such as when Al dies, he would like to prevent his obituary headlines from being "Weird Al eats it"!

Next up.....I got an accordion!
(While we're on the topic of Weird Al, it seemed appropriate to mention.)
So you can expect a lot of accordion things on this blog soon.

And last, but not least, I saw for the first time my  favorite movie...

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?          

Plot: The year is 1947. Stereotypical squash-and-stretch cartoon character Roger Rabbit is framed for the murder of Marvin Acme, the head of Acme. Roger enlists the help of detective Eddie Valiant to help him be prove innocent!

Rating: Ten! The best movie ever! Features cameos with cartoon characters such as:
-Mickey Mouse
-Donald Duck
-Goofy
-Minnie Mouse
-Tinkerbell
-Pinnochio
-Dumbo
-The cast of "Fantasia"
-Peter Pan
-Brer Bear
-Bugs Bunny
-Daffy Duck
-Porky Pig
-Tweety
-Sylvester
-Wil E. Coyote
-Roadrunner
-Woody Woodpecker
-Betty Boop
-Droopy Dog
-Spike
-And sooooooo much more, I lost count.
Recommended for: Everybody, especially 'toon lovers.

Bye for now!

Nuit Blanche

I just went to Nuit Blanche, an art festival.
One exhibit was watching a bunch of movie death scenes, so you get the general idea.
Another exhibit was about what would happen if our city was flooded.
I expected something interesting, but all that was there was a picture of water.
I mean, I could get the exact same result taking a picture of my sink!
But there was one thing that really stood out-A SPACE INVADERS LIGHT SHOW!
Yes, the old Atari game.
It was just a recap of the game, but it was AWESOME.

Popeye Then And Now

As Popeye is being re-released in a NEW comic book, what modern updates can we expect?

I GOT A DRAWING TABLET!

As the title of this post suggests, I GOT A DRAWING TABLET FOR MY BIRTHDAY!
It's actually SUPER easy to use.
Surprisingly, MS Paint works best for comics. The software it came with, ArtRage 3, isn't good for comics. But it IS really good for pictures. So, yeah, I use MS Paint.
Here's an exclusive comic I MADE JUST FOR THIS BLOG!

Also, I'm making a webcomic as a parody of Sonic the hedgehog. It's called "Sanic", and I need a good way to get a free domain.
If you know any, please list sitebuilders (that are FREE) below.
Thanks!
By the way, here's the logo for Sanic:

My Birthday!

It's my birthday!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Anyways, yesterday I had an asthma attack and I went to the hospital and they gave me steroids.
They're liquid steroids, so they don't do this, but they sure make me feel all crazy.
I get super hyper and then I get really super drowsy.
I have to take them for five days. They taste horrible, and I CAN'T STAND IT.
So, kids, when people tell you drugs are horrible, THEY ARE.
Like right now. I can't type anything spelled right, so autocorrect comes in handy. (I almost wrote "autocorrect comes in, Andy".)
The keyboard on my computer is switching letters.
STOP IT, KEYBOARD.
By the way, I was playing Rampage and I realized Wreck-It Ralph is kind of like that.
So, I changed my old poll for Wreck-It Ralph.
Click here to do the new survey.
REMEMBER, NOT THE OLD ONE.
Okay, I gotta go because I'm so crazy I feel like eating my chair.
Bye.

Two Days Until Birthday!

It's officially two days until my birthday!
(My mom's is tomorrow. I was born the day after her birthday, so I was kind of like a belated gift.)
Anyways, in school yesterday we were playing volleyball.
I kind of zoned out.
You could say I was like all of Charlie Brown's baseball team rolled into one.
For proof, and I swear this is true, I was really tired and a volleyball hit my head.
                                                                                                                                    
                                                                                          

Also, I like cats AND dogs, but click here for a funny video!
Are YOU a cat or dog person?
Here, I made a poll to see if a cat or a dog has more fans.
Click on this link to vote!
Ciao!