Back To The Confuser

There have been rumors going around that Bob Zemeckis (Who Framed Roger Rabbit's director), director of Back To The Future and it's other two movies, may make Back To The Future 4!
When the rumor began, it was said that Justin Bieber would play one of Doc Brown's kids.
I think that this will no longer be true, due to the fact that he's on drugs and doing other weird crud and blaming it on people who hate him and claiming we don't know how "hard it is".
(Yeah, must be such a pain to sit in your mansion and write songs in your hot tub.......)
Anyways, Back To The Future's trilogy was amazing.
Will Zemeckis ruin the fourth one just like how Abrams will possibly destroy Star Wars?
Well, I have no idea how the public will react to this rumored sequel. Sequels are hated: A Christmas Story 2, Grease 2, High School Musical 2, and any movie with Jar-Jar Binks (I like him, but lots of people don't).
Okay, class, put on your thinking caps!
Back To The Future 3 ended with no way for any continuity. It was a perfect ending, Marty saving his guitar-playing career, Doc having kids, blah blah blah.
Now, what they'll most likely do is what I like to call, "ICM's Star Wars 7 Theory".
For the aforementioned Star Wars 7, it is said that it will continue like this:
So, we all remember Darth Vader throwing Emperor off the Death Star into that pit, whatever it is. Supposedly, this sequel will reveal that Emperor just fell on top of some ship flying by the pit, he survives, all leading up to him saying this line:
"Luke! I am your grandfather".
No, I'm not joking! This may be true!
So, in Back To The Future 4, the bad guy, Biff, will probably find some way to take over again, and the first three movies will technically be replayed.
Scary.
If you need me, I'll be in my room, crying over this.

Oppan Us Style!

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm working on the music video for "Oppan US Style", my spoof of Psy's "Gangnam Style".
Here is the audio:

Sneak Preview.....

Coming soon to this blog (I'm working on the music video):

2000+ Pageviews!

Gosh, a lot can happen in one day!
I forgot to blog yesterday, and at, like, six this morning I remembered.
I just logged on and I had 2002 pageviews!
You know what that means......
PARTY TIME!!
This calls for issue three of this blog's fake magazine that prints fake stories:

The National Exclaimer: 2000 Pageviews Edition

The blog Inside A Cartoonist's Mind (or ICM for short) has recently reached 2002 pageviews. We did a little research, and here's what we came up with:

The Truth Abut ICM

This blog was started around July/August 2012. By it's fourth month, it already had 1000 pageviews. This was suspicious. We did a little snooping around (TMZ-style), and reailzed that the author of the blog, Cartoonist Guy, always goes to the bathroom at 3:30-4:00 PM every day. We have concluded that in his bathroom he hides an illegal group of a strange alien race that writes this blog FOR him and reads it for him too.
We hacked his Skype and interviewed him:
Cartoonist Guy: Hey! What the-what's going on?
National Exclaimer: We have overidden your Skype signal. It's okay because we're the media!
CG: Go away.
NE: No! We know you don't use your bathroom for pooping!
CG: Uh...are you okay?
NE: It is YOU who isn't okay. Release the aliens or we'll keep calling!
CG: But I can decline your calls.
NE: Oh...right....but you shouldn't---
CG: Ah, social media!
After this strange Skype, we grew even more suspicious. We finally went over to his house and raided his bathroom. Surprisingly, there were no aliens. He started investigating the inside of his toilet as he came in and called 911.
As we write this magazine from our jail cell, we grow more suspicious. We've made another conclusion: Cartoonist Guy keeps a native group of illegitimate koalas in his basement that write and read ICM!!
That's all for now. We'll make another issue during parole.

Almost 2000

This blog almost has 2000 pageviews!
Keep reading to get me there.....
(Or I'll smash your face in.)
I know I haven't had a big post for a while, but when I hit 2000, I'll have a HUGE one.
Rest assured.

Make TV-Look-Bad-Guide

A sequel to a famous installment. I like most of these shows, as this is done as a joke:

ICM's Make-TV-Look-Bad Guide

The Simpsons: An irresponsible dad tries to be responsible.
Family Guy: See above.
Spongebob: Some buck-toothed guy flips burgers.
Big Bang Theory: A bunch of nerds try to get women.
iCarly: Girls scream their heads of on some webshow.
Victorious: People sing with a puppet, kind of like The Muppet Show and Sesame Street.
Pokemon: HERE'S a great idea: trap confused animals in balls, make them fight, and PAY someone if they kill them!
Monsuno: Actually, I have no idea what this is about.
Regular Show: Trust me, it's not regular.
Adventure Time: Nyan Cat on steroids.
The Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog: Some teenager tries to kill a fat guy.
Super Mario Brothers Super Show: Can you say "stereotype"?
Two And A Half Men: It's really confusing since Charlie Sheen left.
Friends: It all takes place on some couch.
3rd Rock From The Sun: Aliens come to civilization, like Star Wars, Star Trek, ET, Paul, Cowboys Versus Aliens......
Phineas And Ferb: A triangle and some guy with green hair make inventions.
MAD: Robot Chicken for kids.

Lip-Stink

Beyonce lip-synced at Obama's inaugural yesterday.
That isn't SO bad.
At least, it isn't as bad as what I'm about to say......
I have to true story to tell you.
So, a while back, at my fourth-grade holiday concert, me and my friend were kind of bored while rehearsing our song with the class.
Don't ask me HOW this happened, but in unison, we sang a song about pie.
We got in trouble, but we had a hit.
At the actual holiday concert, we sang that song and came out laughing.
I think someone may have yelled at us (a student, but I forget who) again, but we were too busy laughing our heads off.
-and if you think THAT'S bad, you should hear what Milli-Vanilli did!

I-Nonsense-Ural

At the inaugural yesterday, Al Roker waved to President Obama and he smiled and waved back.
When Mr. Roker waved to Vice-President Biden, he gave him a high-five!
Meanwhile, if you wave to someone on the street they'll think you're some creep.
What, do you have to be famous to get respect???

eSorry-ny

I saw this eHarmony commercial where these people take their heart out of their body and let it find a soul-mate.
I'm pretty sure that if you tried that in real life, you would, like, die in five seconds and your heart would fall to the ground instead of running off.

Clueless Man Reviews Adventure Time

Adventure Time is one of the top five shows on Cartoon Network, in my opinion:
1) MAD and Looney Tunes Show (tied for first)
2) Adventure Time
3)Annoying Orange
4) Regular Show
5) Gumball
So, I wondered: what if some clueless old fart reviewed it?
ICM exclusively presents Clueless Man's review of Adventure Time:

Hey there, I'm Clueless Man! I watched this animation-thingy here, and this is what I think it's about. So, you've got this guy in a weird hood named "Finn". Why they would name him after a fish's body part is beyond me, but he has this elastic dog who's missing pupils like Little Orphan Annie....actually, the dog looks like Annie's dog. The elastic dog's called "Jake", and he's, like, some sort of lab experiment gone wrong. He can stretch! Anyways, Finn and Jake like going on adventures with some depressed woman and a female Kirby that lives in Candy Land....oh, and some Nyan Cat named "Rainicorn"! They live with a Gameboy that sounds like a woman who has a slight Mexican accent, but it's actually a guy, and they play games on it, though it's alive. There's also that Bowser guy from Mario who kidnaps princesses, though he lives in the ice kingdom, and he looks like a blue Santa Claus who's lost his fair share of weight. Finn and Jake's dad died, and their dad was a dog even though Finn's a human and JAKE'S the dog, and he sounds like Mike from Monster's Inc. They always fight big clueless enemies like slugs and dragons and monsters, and each episode ends with a rainbow, which makes me think that Nyan-Rainicorn had a big influence on the show. Oh, and the theme song is about five seconds long and sounds like it was recorded in a bathroom stall. Anyways, that's my review. I'm off to go watch that new movie about the Donkey Kong who works with a repair-man to earn a medal in some arcade! Bye!

How To Use Google

Though it is probably the simplest thing in the world, many people can't figure it out!
ICM presents:

The Morton Bowel Jr Show

Today, on ICM, we interview Morton Bowel Jr, the world's most biased conservative!

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind: Hey, Morton, how are you?
Morton: Lousy, ya democrat! I can't believe that dang Obama won the election! We shoulda elected Romney!
ICM: Um, okay. Would you mind putting that cigarette out? I really don't like inhaling smoke.
M: Ah, get used to it! You liberals are all the same! Can't ya take a little bit of smoke?! The people who care about their health all suck, huh, gang?
ICM: Uh, right. What made you so conservative?
M: Cartoonist Guy, baby, why WOULDN'T I be a Republican? All the liberal wimps out there believe that ya have to be at least 18 to own firearms! Dude, my kids have an AK-47 instead of those stupid pacifiers!
ICM: Have you ever tried quitting smoking?
M: Are ya kidding me?! Get a load of this jerk, gang! My lungs went down with my heart YEARS ago! What do I care about smoking's side-effects???
ICM: What are your views on public transportation?
M: Ah, don't even get me started! Those buses are full of sickos!
ICM: Like you?
M: Pardon?
ICM: Nothing. Go on.
M: We should all have a car, right, gang? And I don't mean one of those idiotic energy-saving cars!...We need GAS-GUZZLERS!!!!
ICM: Why?
M: To keep the gas stations in business! It's the only place we can buy diabetic, MSG-Inducing junk-food! Also, their bathrooms remind me of home.
ICM: What do you think of education?
M: Who needs that nonsense? Honestly, I dropped out of school n grade one, and look at how I turned out!
ICM: I don't know about you, but that encourages ME to stay in school by far.

Skype Manual

ICM'S SKYPE MANUAL

How To Properly Operate Skype

So you've joined the world of Skype! Welcome, welcome. Be ready for people dropping in on you when you're half-naked, and when they do, awkward pauses on your side of the video leaving you with a stupid face.

To avoid stupid freeze-frames like the ones I just mentioned, refrain

 from playing accordion

 in pajamas.

   To properly operate Skype, you must follow the directions in this manual. So simple (and brutally honest), any idiot could use Skype! Let's go!
How To Install Skype
Hit "Intstall". Duh.
How To Add Contacts To Skype
Let's say that your mom has Skype, too, and she wants you to add her. This is dumb because you live in her basement, but here's how to add her.
Suppose her name is "Tina Seabass". Just search "Tina Seabass" on Skype. Select the correct Tina Seabass (same state and city she lives in), and hit add contact. Avoid using this to stalk celebrities, please.
How To Video Call On Skype
Select a contact, and hit "Video Call". Now, most people don't like talking to wimps like you,, so don't expect them to pick up.

An Ode To This Blog

Today I was out of ideas for a blog, so here is...........

An Ode To ICM

By Cartoonist Guy

Wreck-It Ralph has actually left the theaters,
The Peanuts movie (in 2015) we'll soon see.
So how about an ode to Inside A Cartoonist's Mind?
A shameless plug written by me. 
Liberal pokes at Obama and Reagan,
Roger Rabbit references and jokes,
Laughing 'bout how Romney lost the election,
Writing dumb stuff chugging Coke. (What else would've rhymed?)
Movie reviews every time that I see one,
Being rated with stars out of ten.
This is where Sanic the hedgehog's webseries
Was abruptly announced and began.
Disney buying Star Wars,
Howard the duck,
Cheapo dollar stores,
Ratatoing (A ripoff with no luck),
All of these things have been mentioned.
Search this blog and you'll find,
Deep in the archives , you'll see 'em,
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind.

Dollar Or Less: Part Two

About three posts ago, I did a spoof dollar store catalog.
It was REALLY popular, so here's part two:

Phineas And Ferb Tour Review

I saw Phineas And Ferb: The Best Live Tour Ever yesterday!......

Phineas And Ferb: The Best Live Tour Ever!

Plot: It's the last day of summer, so Phineas and Ferb want to make it count. They decide to put on a live show! Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz makes an Audience-Control-Inator so he will have people to show up to his performances. When it goes back to Phineas and Ferb, they make an Idea-Mash-Up machine because they have a LOT of ideas for a show. They mix up a few ideas, then the lever on the machine breaks. They go out to look for a lever, and find one on Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Control-Inator (I forgot to mention the huge Star Wars parody sequence where Perry kicks Doofenshmirtz's butt). After a few tests, Phineas discovers that the Control-Inator can, uh, control things. They shoot it at the sun and make it shine forever, so SUMMER WILL LAST FOREVER!!!! (Which is a relief, because I had a horrible thought that this play marks the end of the TV series.)

Rating: 10 stars (out of a possible 10). Amazing. Also, this is ICM's first play review.

Reccomended For: Fans of the show (like me).

You'll Love It If: You like the way the show is written, because the play has the exact same humor.

Why I Saw It: Two words: FREE TICKETS!!!!! (Long story.)

How To Write ICM

Hey there, it's Cartoonist Guy!
This blog, ICM, has been VERY popular within it's first few months so far. (Almost at 2000 pageviews!)
So today, I'll take you behind the scenes. Here's......

How To Write ICM

By Cartoonist Guy

So, first, I log on to Blogger. I always check my stats.

And then I think.

Has Obama said anything stupid? Did Disney make a new movie? Have I seen any horrible TV shows lately?

Those are a stereotype of my guidelines.

I hit "New Post".

I enter the title.

I start typing whatever the heck I feel like typing, AND I DON'T CARE IF IT'S CONTROVERSIAL!!

.........okay, that's boring. What I really do is:

1) Get dumb idea.

2) Expand on dumb idea.

3) Write dumb idea.

4) Post dumb idea.

After this, I log on tomorrow and see what my all-time most popular post is, and it's always "I GOT A DRAWING TABLET!" (Man, you wouldn't BELIEVE how many people have read that one, it's so many. Don't worry, all my other posts are usually just, like, one less view.)

ARGH!

....oh, well, tomorrow is another day.

Dollar Or Less Catalog

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively presents........

Roger Rabbit Petition

Here's a video I posted on ICM's YouTube:

Google AdDense

This blog happily has no ads.
Sure, Google AdSense pays you, but I can get money on my own!
Maybe if I'm really stumped for cash one day I'll try it.
I'm just glad they aren't trying to sneak in ads without my permis--

The Far Side: With Obama

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively presents.....
(Yes, I know cows don't have horns.)

Classic Cracked: Who Framed Roger Wabbit

Cracked magazine is like MAD magazine, and I found their Roger Rabbit satire....
(All of this is rightfully Cracked's and I take no responsibility for it; it's all their's.)

Disney Does Politics

First, Disney bought Marvel.
Then, they bought LucasFilm.
I love Disney, but what's next? Inside A Cartoonist's Mind exclusively presents......

Cartoonist Tribute

I would have put at least a hundred more signatures, but I couldn't find files of them online!
By the way, in case you were wondering, here are what you can blame each cartoonist mentioned for (click on the name of their comic to go to it's website!):

Schulz: Peanuts
Jim Davis: Garfield
Noah P: Baraler
Tom Wilson: Ziggy
Herriman: Krazy Kat (no website)
Bill Amend: FoxTrot
Chester Gould: Dick Tracy
Al Capp: Li'l Abner (no website, I think)
Aragones, Mort Drucker, Al Jaffee, Paul Coker Jr: Mad Magazine
Bil Keane: Family Circus
Mort Walker: Beetle Bailey

Tricky, Dull Pursuit

Inside A Cartoonist Mind Presents....

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: ICM EDITION

In this version, it's all questions by me, Cartoonist Guy.

Now, if this gets accepted by Hasbro, that'll be a different story.....

Please Shoot My Eye Out, Kid

Another movie review!
Remember A Christmas Story?
Well, they made a HORRIBLE sequel. They ruined the movie we all love, so here goes....

A Christmas Story Two (2012)

Plot: Ralphie is now a teenager, and he really wants a car. Ralphie is a year too young to drive, but he's driving around town anyways. He sees the car he likes at the dealership, and the car dealer leaves it unlocked for some reason, and Ralphie destroys it. For some reason, Ralphie's friends also get in trouble and they owe the dealer $85. Ralphie and friends go to work and try to earn the money, and the guy who got his tongue stuck on a pole in the first movie stuck his mouth in a tube for some reason, and they mess up, and they get fired. Ralphie somehow earns the money he needs, but spends it on treating hobos to dinner. He shows up to the dealership empty-handed, then he somehow gets $95, and all is well. Don't waste your money on it.

Age Flaws: So, this movie takes place YEARS after the first one, but guess what? Ralphie's brother and mom don't age, Ralphie's dad is younger, and the Santa at the mall didn't age either.

Rating: One star (out of a possible ten.) This movie would have been WAY better if Ralphie finally shot his eye out.

You'll Love It If: Giant plotholes don't matter to you.

Reccomended For: No one. I'm not THAT cruel.

Dizzy Pixart Presents: Ratatoing (A Ripoff)

Last night, I came across an old joke gift.
It was a DVD called "Chop Kick Panda And Friends".
Chop Kick Panda is obviously Kung-Fu Panda, but there were three other ripoff-uh, movies on the DVD:
-Ratatoing (Ripoff of Ratatouille)
-What's Up (Ripoff of Up and Ghostbusters)
-The Frog Prince (Ripoff of Princess And The Frog).
I watched Ratatoing and What's Up (which is the most racist kid's movie in the world), a few minutes of Chop Kick Panda, and I didn't even bother to watch The Frog Prince.
Ratatoing was the worst one on the DVD, so I'll review it:

Ratatoing (2007)

Plot: A blue rat has a great sense of smell and is an excellent chef (where have I seen THAT before?), and a rival restaurant is trying to figure out where he gets his ingredients. He has two friends working with him at his restaurant, one is named Greg, and the other one's name is not even mentioned in the movie. I am now looking at the back of the DVD case, and it says her name is "Carol". Apparently, they put on spy gear (and you know that because there's a five-minute sequence every ten minutes showing them putting the gear on) and raid a human restaurant's kitchen. The bad guys try to get the chef (who's name is Marcell, by the way) and his pals killed by letting the human restaurant know they have rats (technically, every person in the movie is a thug). How do they do this? The bad guy rats run around the restaurant yelling, "blah" and doing the performing Russian line-dances.......FOR TWENTY MINUTES OR SO. The next time Marcell and company try to raid the kitchen, there is a cat waiting to eat them. Later, they befriend the cat and get two of the four evil sent to a lab where they apparently get treated very well. Personally I was hoping all the rats would die.

Rating: One star (out of a possible ten). This originally had four stars, but it lost a point for originality, another one for quality, and one more for just sucking.

Animation Quality: Ye gads, don't even get me started. According to the credits, three people did the animation: the director, the executive producer, and some random person. There is only a background for about two scenes, the mouths aren't even in sync with the audio, and here's my favorite part: whenever someone stops talking, they just freeze in the position they finished in, making an awkward pose. (This happened most frequently with the rat named Greg.)

You'll Love It If: You're in the process of having a lobotomy.

Reccomended For: An enemy.

Happy New Year!

This is a day late, but whatever.
Happy new year!
2013 marks two important things:
1) The apocalypse was a fake
2) This blog has survived a year!
Honestly, who would care about the end of the world if this blog weren't around?
In 2013, we can look forward to:
-Christmas songs on the radio until February.
-Hopefully, Who Framed Roger Rabbit: Part Two.
-Psy putting out another hit, and Justin Bieber doing something stupid trying to top him.
-Another year of my MAD Magazine and Sonic The Hedgehog subscriptions.
-Obama saying something controversial.
-Some other pointless internet craze.
-PlayStation and  Xbox trying to upstage Nintendo's Wii U.
-Another live-action Cartoon Network show, ruining the whole "cartoon" part of the network.
-Linday Lohan getting arrested (again).
-One Direction putting out some other album that nobody will care about because Justin Bieber is putting out another slab of songs trying to top Psy, which will inevitably fail. Go Psy!!

Happy new year (again)!!!!