If you give a Ford a mayorship,
He will want some money.
And if you give that Ford some money,
He will want to fund a football team instead of his town.
And if you give a Ford another chance after that,
He will want some drugs.
And if you give a Ford some drugs,
He will want to hide the evidence.
And if you let the Ford hide the evidence,
He will want to show you the evidence.
And if you let him show you the evidence,
The police won't so he'll make a truckload of phony speeches.
And if you let a Ford make phony speeches,
He will want to make a stupid statement that may or may not involve what he does at his home.
And if you let a Ford make stupid statements,
He will want to drink beer.
And if you give a Ford a beer,
He will go to fast food restaurants and swear like there's no tomorrow.
And if you let a Ford swear in public,
He will want to go to rehab.
And if you give a Ford a rehab vacation,
He will only pretend he's going but actually won't.
And if you wait around for a Ford to do his next dumb move,
He probably will.
