Hey-ooo! It's been quite a while since I posted, so I'm making up for it with a larger post. Have you ever heard of Shakespeare For The Masses?
It's technically translating Shakespeare, so he doesn't sound like Thor beating his face against an oar.
Above is a Pearls Before Swine comic explaining it. But I've decided to bring out Shakespeare For The Masses For The Masses. It's a more...modern...version.
I will display each Shakespeare line as it originally was, then do my own version. Enjoy!:
"This above all: to thine own self be true". - Hamlet (Act I, Scene III).
"You can't pull a Barry Bonds anymore, people."
"The course of true love never did run smooth". - (Act I, Scene I).
"I mean, come on, look at all the royal weddings, dude."
"I ’ll put a girdle round about the earth In forty minutes." Quote Act II. Scene. 1
"Put the Depends n the fat, old woman in forty minutes."
"Tempt not a desperate man" Romeo and Juliet Quote (Act V, Sc. III).
"Let's get drunk and then register to be on The Bachelor!"
Is Shakespeare clear now?