Monday, August 5, 2013

Attackin' Mac An' Me

Mac And Me (1988)

What do you get when you take a roll of toilet paper, a pencil sharpener, and a Minute Maid juice box and scatter them around? The objects around my desk as I type on the computer about the monstrosity known as Mac And Me.
Well, scratch that. It's not known at all. This movie bombed. It was a ripoff of ET, which I don't mention much in my plot recap, but just watch it. You'll figure it out.
This bomb-ahrea was heavily endorsed by McDonald's. Keep note of that when I recap the plot.

Rating: One star (out of a possible ten).

Plot: Well, I would like to stare, before I begin, that in the trailer for Mac And Me, there is a scene where a grocery store explodes. In the actual movie, the grocery store just randomly explodes. I think they were just trying to gain an audience there, don't you?
So, this family consists of a mom who is incredibly rich. What's her job? A greeter at "Sears". There's a boy in a wheelchair named Eric, who is obviously trying not to laugh during each line. He's probably all, "Good lord, this movie sucks" in his mind. Then, there's the older brother, Michael. They have all moved to California, where they meet this little girl who says that she's trying to talk to the Earth demons or whatever. This doesn't play into the movie (nothing in this abomination does), but I just wanted to put that there for it's creepiness. Eric falls of a cliff after deciding to roll his wheelchair right up against the edge, because he wants a good view. (Also, he's pretty smart.) He is rescued by an alien that's pretty much a hand puppet of Gollum who speaks like R2-D2 that only him and the girl see. They call him "Mysterious Alien Creature", or "MAC" for short. Remember, this film is endorsed by McDonald's, so I wonder where they got the name from?
When Eric is recuperating in his room, the girl comes in and they talk about junk, much like this movie. Then, some random woman in a McDonald's outfit (of course) comes into his house and asks, "May I come in"?
"Yes, random McDonald's employee, make yourself at home!"
She's the girl's sister, and then the girl invites Eric to her friend's birthday party (yes, some OTHER random person's party) at.....guess where?
So, they go to McDonald's, with Mac disguised as a teddy bear who dances, which is appropriate, as there is A FIVE-MINUTE DANCE SEQUENCE AT THE WORLD'S LARGEST McDONALD'S.
(Also, when Eric gets a drink, it falls off the table, and the girl picks it up. Try to spot it;he's holding a teddy bear if that helps.)
So, after that, the CIA randomly decides to follow Eric, in a horrible car chase scene that I won't post, but I will mention this: the CIA is chasing using their feet, and a few cars get thrown off by them. Okay, I guess. THEN, this red car in a completely different LANE just randomly drives right up to the CIA people then screeches on the brakes and honks like it's their fault. Jerks.
Eric goes out to the desert to track down Mac's family and finds they're all dead.
The end! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!
Sadly, it doesn't end like that. Eric uses Coke, the drink endorsed by McDonald's at the time, to revive their family, then they blow up the grocery store and what-have-you, then America realizes Mac and company are harmless and ends the movie with a sequence of them become full-fledged American citizens
Heartwarming, no?
No. Moronic.

Recommended For: People who like bad movies.

You'll Like It If: You won't like it. Not even if you're a masochist.

More on this movie: Wikipedia Page: //