Friday, March 15, 2013

ICM's First Internet Awards

Welcome, welcome, people sitting in their mother's basements reading this! I am Cartoonist Guy, author of this blog, the one you're reading, and if I have to be more specific you need help! I'm here to host....

ICM's First Annual Internet Awards

We are gathered here today to award the best internet crazes and videos this year! And guess what? You don't get to vote! Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah! I fart in your general direction! (That wins, in my personal opinion, the award for most funny spontaneous Monty Python comeback....)
So, here goes! The categries:

Best Harlem Shake

The nominees are:
-Duck Commander/Buck Commander Harlem Shake
-Cartoon Network Adventure Time Harlem Shake
-The Simpsons: Homer Shake
-Harlem Shake (Original)
-And the winner is:

The Homer Shake is the official Harlem Shake of Fox Animation! Next category, please-

Best Social Commentary

The nominees are:
-Doofenshmirtz's Daily Dirt
-Oppan US Style (I made this video, and it's here for a shameless plug.)
-Patrick Star On The Bible
And the winner is......

I didn't choose my own video because I'm not THAT much of a jerk. Wait to go, Heinz!

Best Pointless Video

Nominees, if you will:
 -Nyan Cat
-I've Got A Jar Of Dirt
-Harlem Shake (Original)
-Haundahuahnaha (I don't know how to spell it, but you know what I'm talking about.)
I would choose Nyan Cat, but that's kind of old now. Hey, Nyan Cat will never die, but this lesser-known video wins because....IT'S....SO.....DANG....CATCHY.

Most Popular Video Overall

Oh my gosh, here comes the big one. You know that feeling. It's like when you're on the toilet, and you're reading an old MAD Magazine, and you say it: "Oh my gosh, here comes the big one."
It's a gross metaphor that I really shouldn't have shared, and you readers are probably puking right now. In fact, I think I just lost half of you. But now you know what I mean!
The nominees are:
-Harlem Shake (Original)
-Assassin's Creed Rap (Smosh)
-Oppan Gangnam Style
-The "Draw My Life" Series
Aaaaaand the winner is....
You've all seen it, so there's really no point in putting it up here. It has the most views in the history of YouTube, and I even tried to get some extra popularity by making a parody of it (music video coming soon, I promise)! We can fire as many Harlem Shakes or Trolls at it as we want, but it will remain the most popular....that is, until some other dancing guy farts the alphabet. Until then, here's to Psy!
Thank you for tuning in! If you disagree with any of my decisions, please feel free to leave a comment (with no swears). If I get enough, I will post the other most popular selections!
Thank you and good night!.....Well, I'm actually finishing this up at 8:11 AM, so, uh, good morning!....too!