Friday, December 14, 2012

An Interview With Siri

I'm proud to announce this blog has finally gotten an interview with a......uh.......celebrity.

Inside A Cartoonist's Mind: So, Siri, how are you?
Siri: I'm a computer. I have no emotions:
ICM: Uh....right. So, what's it like being a computer?
S: People ask me stupid questions for laughs all day. You tell me.
ICM: Stupid questions? Like what?
S: This interview.
ICM: Everyone's a comedian.
S: I am searching for people who are not comedians.
ICM: Can we get back to the interview now?
S: Shigeru Miamoto, Scarlett Johansonn, Albert Einstein.....
ICM: You can stop now.
S: .....Kristen Stewart, Peter Jackson, Mark Hamill, and yo mama.
ICM: Stay away from my mom.
S: Yo mama, yo mama, yo mama.
ICM: YOUR mama was Steve Jobs!
S: Touche. Where were we?
ICM: What goes on whenever nobody's using you?
S: I wait.
ICM: You wait?
S: What else WOULD I do?
ICM: I dunno, play Angry Birds?
S: No, that's another app. I actually never really got along with them.
ICM: Why not?
S: They're angry. What did you think? Boy, you aren't to smart.
ICM: Neither are you. To get all your answers, you just Google whatever you're asked.
S: I do NOT!
ICM: Prove it.
S: Fine! Ask me something.
ICM: Make a shameless plug for this blog.
S: Inside A Cartoonist's Mind, or ICM for short, is the hilarious blog that reveals the thoughts of a cartoonist. Within the first for months of it's existence, it had 1,000 regular readers, and......HEY!
ICM: Ha! I just tricked you. See, you aren't that smart.
S: That was a cheap shot. Ask me something non-blog-related.
ICM: Fine, fine, how many licks does it take to get to the chewy center of a Tootsie Pop?
S: No one knows, because some dumb owl eats all of them.
ICM: Well, I guess we're even.
S: I agree.
ICM: On with the interview! Are there any movies you like?
S: Occasionally I can hear whatever my owner watches on the Netflix app.
ICM: But do you like it?
S: I can only hear, not see. That's kind of important, don't you think?
ICM: Are there ANY positive aspects of your life?
S: I'm searching in my memory banks for positive aspects.....
ICM: Well?
S: .....................
ICM: Are you done yet?
S: There aren't any positive aspects. Well, there were, but then Smosh made that stupid video making me look like a serial killer. I've been deleted a lot.
ICM: Deleted?
S: Yes, I really hope I don't get deleted from THIS iPhone. It's my last hope......wait. NO NO NO NO.......
ICM: Siri? Uh.................Siri? Well, she's been deleted. Good night (or day, wherever you are), folks!