Sunday, December 23, 2012

Make-Movies-Look-Bad Movie Guide

Today I am writing the Make-Movies-Look-Bad movie guide!
What's that, you ask?
I make movies look bad. Here's an example:
Who Framed Roger Rabbit: A wonderful blend of toons and humans
Who Framed Roger Rabbit: Toons and murder. Really, people?
See what I mean? The second review makes you want to watch a different movie.
So, here we go (by the way, I actually like these movies):

WarGames: People try to figure out a computer that looks like a cardboard box, and is about as hi-tech as one, too.
Back To The Future: After trying to comprehend all three movies, your brain will explode. (I'm actually one of the few people who understood it.)
Tron: Actually, I have no idea what this is about.
Garfield: The only character that looks the way they should is Garfield.
Toy Story: A cowboy and a spaceman fight, which would be nicer if it were the fifties.
Kung-Fu Panda: An obese bear tries to learn karate.
Wizard Of Oz: A girl goes to a place run by dwarves.
Snow White: A girl goes to a place run by dwarves.
Wreck-It Ralph: Some guy throws people and destroys buildings, an he wants to be loved.
Gremlins: Cute animals turn into Yoda on drugs.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off: A kid tries to avoid school, but I think it's more interesting wondering how the heck that irresponsible principal got his teaching licence.
Breakfast Club: Kids get detention on a Saturday, which I don't even think is legal.
Rocky: Someone trains really hard to win a fight and ends up not winning.
Akeelah And The Bee: Some stupid movie about spelling and love. Yeeeeeeeah, save your money.
Up: Some old fart makes his house a balloon. Great.
The Emperor's New Groove: Some stuck-up guy turns into a llama.
Superman: Some wimp is a superhero.
Casper: A ghost wants to be loved, and in the end only one person will even talk to him.
Pinnochio: A kid's nose grows when he lies. This would be better if he were Richard Nixon.