I've recently made u--uh, come across the rejected version of the final Harry Potter chapter:
"Oh my God, we killed Voldemort!" Harry was in shock knowing that he could have just killed him on their first encounter and all this stuff never would have happened. "So, now what?" Ron questioned. "I dunno," Harry replied. "Wanna watch South Park?" Unfortunately, they realized that they damaged the cable box when they blew up Hogwarts, and that they would have to travel to the 90's to see any trace of South Park.
"You see, this is one of those things we never thought about," Harry started. "Sure, we may have killed 70% of our characters in one fell swoop, but more importantly, we broke the cable! Now we have to call the repair man! Do you know how much he'll charge?"
"Nah," Ron said. "This is the UK. Everything costs less here. Especially around the Hogwarts area, as, like, everything is so primitive when we have advanced technology in the rest of the world."
"Whatever. Wanna blow this place and watch South Park on the internet in a place WITH technology?" Harry asked. "Sure," Ron answered.
And so they did.
(I left out the part where Hermione changes her name because it sounds more like a body dysfunction around your pelvis area that you need removed than a name.)
