Saturday, February 23, 2013

The Worst Endings For TV

Sorry I haven't blogged for a while: I've been compiling....

ICM's Worst Endings For TV Series

And these are all true.

Dinosaurs: Everyone dies

I already posted how this one ends in another post: "Not The Mama! (And The Baby)". Search it on this blog, and you'll find it.
Technically, Dinosaurs is by the man who made the Muppets/Sesame Street, Jim Henson. Don't ask me what the heck his doctor was giving him to cure his cold, but in the end of Dinosaurs, the whole beloved family freezes to death....and you watch them do so.
Jim! Eh, are you okay?

Alf: The government finds him, and they capture him, and dissect him

Alf is an amazing and hilarious show about an Alien Life Form (Alf is an acronym) from distant planet Melmac who comes to live with a typical American family and their cat named Fluffy. Alf wants to eat Fluffy at first, but then befriends him.
At the end, Alf goes to meet his old Melmacian friends, but before they come, the government finds him. They're all like, "Oh, an alien! Let's kill him because we're the government and we have the right to do any poop we want to, plus, it's not like he should be treated properly because he's a person just like us!" (Okay, they didn't say that, but I just hate the government.) They capture Alf, and send him off to be put down and dissected. Now, this wasn't how it was SUPPOSED to end. This was originally part one of two in a cliffhanger to end the series, and the networks pulled the plug on the series halfway through. Later, the creators of the series announced that Alf escaped the government, but did not meet his buddies from Melmac, and the family he lived with originally moved to Iceland for some stupid reason, so Alf ended up a hobo for all eternity. Couldn't you have just killed him so he could be happier?

An Italian Ripoff Of The Muppets My Friend Told Me About: They all burn

I don't know the title of this, but my friend told me about some Italian ripoff of the Muppet Show where they're all toys that live in a factory.
In the end, the factory burns and takes the toys down with it, except for one: the ripoff of Fozzie Bear escapes to live as a hobo.
But the weird thing is: the toys could have escaped supposedly an hour or so before the fire, so they technically committed suicide. I don't think this series has ever been republished on DVD or anything, and I don't even know what it's called. If you see it, please put a link in the comments. I'd like to see it.

Lost: They were all dead the entire time

As the show Lost went on, it just kept getting weirder.
So, I guess this was one of the less bad endings, as the cast being dead the entire series and they were stuck in some weird purgatory is probably the best explanation.

Tom And Jerry: Jerry dies

Waaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiit a minute, this isn't totally correct. This is supposedly a rejected Tom And Jerry cartoon with anti-fighting sentiment that Hanna-Barbera never aired. I read about it on Creepy Pasta. I'm not sure whether or not I should believe it's real, but if you want to see it, it's called "Tom And Jerry: Suffering".
It starts out with the normal goofy, awesome, slap-happy Tom And Jerry theme song, but then it goes to a bold title card saying, "Suffering".  It shows Tom (the cat) in an abandoned house, and he looks sad. He goes to Jerry's (the mouse) mousehole, and sees him lying there, dead. It would appear he died of natural causes, not Tom killing him. Tom starts bawling, and like Ren And Stimpy's ending, it's realistic crying, as if someone was punching him. It fades to black and says some peaceful message on the screen.

Mickey Mouse: Mickey slowly goes crazy until his face implodes

Like Tom And Jerry, this was a rejected Toon you can find on YouTube. This never aired (thank gosh), but is called "Suicide Mouse.avi". Now, there is a series of REAL Mickey comics where he tries to kill himself but doesn't, but this is different.
I thought this was fake at first, but the folks at Disney claim it may be real, but they're not sure. Most likely, Walt Disney did not make this short.
So, this cartoon was supposedly made in 1930, and it's just a continuous loop of Mickey walking down the street (a loop, as in The Flintstones). But the music is just random banging on a piano, and Mickey looks sad. Despite it's name, he does not commit suicide. Instead, at six minutes, mickey starts to smile, but ti's a creepy smile. The sidewalk starts to warp, the music turns into a long scream, the buildings start floating, and the most weird part.....color.
Color was not possible when this was made, so there must have been some technique used. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, Walt may not have made this.
Eventually, Mickey's face implodes, comes back, then it zooms in on him and he has a creepy face, followed by a scream.

That's my list! Sorry, it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, but it was still funny at times, right? Right? Ah, forget it.