Friday, January 4, 2013

Please Shoot My Eye Out, Kid

Another movie review!
Remember A Christmas Story?
Well, they made a HORRIBLE sequel. They ruined the movie we all love, so here goes....

A Christmas Story Two (2012)

Plot: Ralphie is now a teenager, and he really wants a car. Ralphie is a year too young to drive, but he's driving around town anyways. He sees the car he likes at the dealership, and the car dealer leaves it unlocked for some reason, and Ralphie destroys it. For some reason, Ralphie's friends also get in trouble and they owe the dealer $85. Ralphie and friends go to work and try to earn the money, and the guy who got his tongue stuck on a pole in the first movie stuck his mouth in a tube for some reason, and they mess up, and they get fired. Ralphie somehow earns the money he needs, but spends it on treating hobos to dinner. He shows up to the dealership empty-handed, then he somehow gets $95, and all is well. Don't waste your money on it.

Age Flaws: So, this movie takes place YEARS after the first one, but guess what? Ralphie's brother and mom don't age, Ralphie's dad is younger, and the Santa at the mall didn't age either.

Rating: One star (out of a possible ten.) This movie would have been WAY better if Ralphie finally shot his eye out.

You'll Love It If: Giant plotholes don't matter to you.

Reccomended For: No one. I'm not THAT cruel.