Today, on ICM, we interview Morton Bowel Jr, the world's most biased conservative!
Inside A Cartoonist's Mind: Hey, Morton, how are you?
Morton: Lousy, ya democrat! I can't believe that dang Obama won the election! We shoulda elected Romney!
ICM: Um, okay. Would you mind putting that cigarette out? I really don't like inhaling smoke.
M: Ah, get used to it! You liberals are all the same! Can't ya take a little bit of smoke?! The people who care about their health all suck, huh, gang?
ICM: Uh, right. What made you so conservative?
M: Cartoonist Guy, baby, why WOULDN'T I be a Republican? All the liberal wimps out there believe that ya have to be at least 18 to own firearms! Dude, my kids have an AK-47 instead of those stupid pacifiers!
ICM: Have you ever tried quitting smoking?
M: Are ya kidding me?! Get a load of this jerk, gang! My lungs went down with my heart YEARS ago! What do I care about smoking's side-effects???
ICM: What are your views on public transportation?
M: Ah, don't even get me started! Those buses are full of sickos!
ICM: Like you?
ICM: Nothing. Go on.
M: We should all have a car, right, gang? And I don't mean one of those idiotic energy-saving cars!...We need GAS-GUZZLERS!!!!
M: To keep the gas stations in business! It's the only place we can buy diabetic, MSG-Inducing junk-food! Also, their bathrooms remind me of home.
ICM: What do you think of education?
M: Who needs that nonsense? Honestly, I dropped out of school n grade one, and look at how I turned out!
ICM: I don't know about you, but that encourages ME to stay in school by far.