Fictional Characters's Diaries
Darth Vader (Star Wars):
Monday
I can't believe I just tried to kill my own son.
John Hammond (Jurassic Park):
Saturday, Friday 15th
The park is coming along well. I've decided to also bring back the carnivores. It sounds dumb, but honestly, what could possibly go wrong?
Kesuke Miyagi (The Karate Kid):
Day 92:
The kid thinks I'm teaching him karate, but I'm really just getting my car waxed for free. I really hope he doesn't wax a car in an actual confrontation.
Super Mario (Super Mario Bros):
Tuesday
After over 20 years, I'm beginning to think that the princess just likes being captured.
Charlie Brown (Peanuts):
Friday
I'm really starting to wonder if my psychiatrist has a license. If pulling a football away from me every time I try to kick it is a form of medical practice, then I hate ObamaCare even more than I thought I did.
Eddie Valiant (Who Framed Roger Rabbit):
August 1944
Wow, that case in retrospect. I'm seen a lot of strange ways to act when you're happy, but I've never seen a bunch cartoon characters get together and sing when a jerk dies.
Fred Flintstone (The Flintstones):
June 8th, 23 BC
It's really nice to have animals do all the chores for me, but if I here one more bird say, "AWK! It's a living," I'm gonna go insane.
